In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I am very grateful for how far I have come in my healing journey. My class this semester at Illinois State is going very well right now. I am thankful every day for the ability to go back to school and finish my degree despite the challenges that come with my brain injury.
Also, as an amusement to many of you, I must share something that I am learning to appreciate about my repaired brain. Every season when I get out my Christmas decorations, it is a surprise all over again. The main things like the tree, etc. I can recall......(Ok, my memory isn't THAT bad folks!) :) However, a lot of the decor I have forgotten from the year before. It is like opening a present for the first time - wondering what is in my Christmas box that I forgot. It is great to be re-surprised every year by items I forgot were there.
Many of my memory problems used to frustrate me and cause me much anxiety. I still have those moments, but I am learning to laugh more at what my memory can and cannot recall. It's moments like this that I'm content in this stage of my brain recovery and in this journey called LIFE.
I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!!
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Happy Anniversary
Happy 7th Anniversary to my repaired brain! Can't believe it has been 7 years. So much has changed. Since I'm currently learning to be positive and not focus on all negatives in my life - we will keep this post cheerful! No talking about the challenges of life with a brain injury.
One of the wonderful changes my new brain has given me is the freedom to drive. On a regular basis I stop to give thanks for how much of a blessing it is to have the ability to drive. Driving is certainly a privilege.
I was just telling some friends the other day that in the last year I think my memory is getting better. OK, I said "better" - not great! ( I feel the need to clarify that otherwise I will get some harassment later for that statement.) ;) For example, recently I noticed that I don't have to rely on my phone all the time like I used to. I can remember meetings/events coming up on my calender. Unlike the few years after the surgery, when if I didn't look at my phone - I would not remember ANYTHING! So that is praise to God for that.
I still give thanks for no major seizures since the brain surgery. I haven't even had an aura in several months which is very exciting for me. So to remain seizure free this long after the surgery is nothing short of a miracle since I used to have seizures every day.
Lastly, in just thinking of the day of the surgery which was 3 months after dad died, it was a year of much change. I again want to thank my family and friends for all they did for me before, during, and after the surgery/recovery. Yes, I still remember the day of the surgery and what went on in the OR - something a Neurodiagnostic tech never forgets! :) It was a long road to recovery and continues to be. Life is a journey of how to manage living with a brain injury. I would not be able to do it without the love, patience, and support I get from all of you!!!
One of the wonderful changes my new brain has given me is the freedom to drive. On a regular basis I stop to give thanks for how much of a blessing it is to have the ability to drive. Driving is certainly a privilege.
I was just telling some friends the other day that in the last year I think my memory is getting better. OK, I said "better" - not great! ( I feel the need to clarify that otherwise I will get some harassment later for that statement.) ;) For example, recently I noticed that I don't have to rely on my phone all the time like I used to. I can remember meetings/events coming up on my calender. Unlike the few years after the surgery, when if I didn't look at my phone - I would not remember ANYTHING! So that is praise to God for that.
I still give thanks for no major seizures since the brain surgery. I haven't even had an aura in several months which is very exciting for me. So to remain seizure free this long after the surgery is nothing short of a miracle since I used to have seizures every day.
Lastly, in just thinking of the day of the surgery which was 3 months after dad died, it was a year of much change. I again want to thank my family and friends for all they did for me before, during, and after the surgery/recovery. Yes, I still remember the day of the surgery and what went on in the OR - something a Neurodiagnostic tech never forgets! :) It was a long road to recovery and continues to be. Life is a journey of how to manage living with a brain injury. I would not be able to do it without the love, patience, and support I get from all of you!!!
Sunday, May 8, 2011
My Mom
This post is dedicated to my Mom. From the beginning of my seizures at 4 yrs old, my mom has been through it with me. When I was young, she always knew when I was having a seizure. She could look across a crowded room and tell that I was having a seizure. She always could tell before anyone else. I know she prayed me through many of those times. She was there for me when I couldn't drive as a 16 yr old and when the seizures came back as a young adult. She was there to support me.
Once when I was younger and sitting at the kitchen table, I had a seizure. She patiently waited for the seizure to stop and for me to come out of my confusion. Endless times during a complex partial seizure I would insist that I was fine and not seizing, yet clearly to her and others I was. She was a saint in my book for putting up with me when clearly I had no clue what was going on. What patience!
After the brain surgery she was there to rejoice with me that the seizures were gone. She was the first to notice changes in my personality and the lingering results of the resection. Though I am not around her as much anymore, she is always there to support and pray me through the rough times. She always is quick to recognize the struggles of having a brain injury. She noticed first some of my struggles with depression, and how it has and continues to change me as a person. The thing is that a mom's love never changes - no matter what way the child does. My mom is an inspiration to me of her consistent support and love she has given me both before, during, and now presently after my brain injury. I love you, Ma! Happy Mother's Day!
Once when I was younger and sitting at the kitchen table, I had a seizure. She patiently waited for the seizure to stop and for me to come out of my confusion. Endless times during a complex partial seizure I would insist that I was fine and not seizing, yet clearly to her and others I was. She was a saint in my book for putting up with me when clearly I had no clue what was going on. What patience!
After the brain surgery she was there to rejoice with me that the seizures were gone. She was the first to notice changes in my personality and the lingering results of the resection. Though I am not around her as much anymore, she is always there to support and pray me through the rough times. She always is quick to recognize the struggles of having a brain injury. She noticed first some of my struggles with depression, and how it has and continues to change me as a person. The thing is that a mom's love never changes - no matter what way the child does. My mom is an inspiration to me of her consistent support and love she has given me both before, during, and now presently after my brain injury. I love you, Ma! Happy Mother's Day!
Friday, January 7, 2011
Distractions
Recently I had an experience helping my mom learn the basics of her new computer. For those that know my mom, the thought of this is quite amusing. ;) She tries so hard and I admire her determination in trying to master email and the new computer. It was challenging for both of us, since I was walking her through it....over the phone. After the experience was over, then it caused me to reflect a little...
My issues with distraction and inattention have become more frequent than I realize since the brain surgery. Often ADHD and focus difficulties have a bad reputation in society and even in the world of medicine. The issue has gone from one extreme to the other in frequency of being diagnosed and treated. Over diagnosing and then not treating.....the extremes go back and forth. Somehow I believe that the patients get lost in the midst. I think this has been the case for me until recently.
I think in my case (and in a lot of patients) that attention issues are the last thing to receive attention. For me, it has been an afterthought. Instead of noticing that my attention problems are the likely cause of many other symptoms, we treat it the exact opposite. (I will keep you updated as to how this progresses.) :)
How does this tie in with my mom you ask? She struggles with the basics of a computer. I mean the REAL BASICS! For example, where to type the "www line" as she says. She was having difficulty signing into her email account on her new computer, so I had her describe for me what she was seeing. Instead of automatically noticing what you and I would see, she verbally told me what was getting her attention first. Her descriptions were interesting.
Picture with me the signon screen of a major email sight like yahoo, gmail, hotmail, etc. We think that it is clearly obvious what to do, but not to my mom. She describes for me what she sees on the monitor. "I see a "Web Search" and then a blank white space.", "Well, a blinking red box telling me about a membership for....." , and "I see some buttons that say games, TV, shopping....". So many distractions!!
It was quite awhile before I got her to ignore each of the pop-ups, flashing ads, etc., and to find the two little boxes that said "user name and password" next to them. :) By the time I verbally helped her to carefully type her email address and password clicked "log in", 45 minutes had passed. After it was over, she was worn out, I was happily relieved, and it caused me to reflect on the irony of it.
For someone like myself with a brain injury, distractions are constant. I used to be a very focused and attentive person, but now I am easily sidetracked. I am learning over the years tricks to help with this, but am quickly realizing that it's a constant battle. I am concluding that it will always be a struggle and to try to make the best of it. Something or some task that I used to easily complete now is much more challenging.
Yet really, we all have some "distractions" in life though. What are your distractions? I define a distraction as anything that gets our focus off of our goals in life. For me, I have many things that get my ultimate focus off of God. Brain injury or not, whatever distracts us from fulfilling God's purpose in each of our lives is truly a distraction. One that I will always fight against.
My issues with distraction and inattention have become more frequent than I realize since the brain surgery. Often ADHD and focus difficulties have a bad reputation in society and even in the world of medicine. The issue has gone from one extreme to the other in frequency of being diagnosed and treated. Over diagnosing and then not treating.....the extremes go back and forth. Somehow I believe that the patients get lost in the midst. I think this has been the case for me until recently.
I think in my case (and in a lot of patients) that attention issues are the last thing to receive attention. For me, it has been an afterthought. Instead of noticing that my attention problems are the likely cause of many other symptoms, we treat it the exact opposite. (I will keep you updated as to how this progresses.) :)
How does this tie in with my mom you ask? She struggles with the basics of a computer. I mean the REAL BASICS! For example, where to type the "www line" as she says. She was having difficulty signing into her email account on her new computer, so I had her describe for me what she was seeing. Instead of automatically noticing what you and I would see, she verbally told me what was getting her attention first. Her descriptions were interesting.
Picture with me the signon screen of a major email sight like yahoo, gmail, hotmail, etc. We think that it is clearly obvious what to do, but not to my mom. She describes for me what she sees on the monitor. "I see a "Web Search" and then a blank white space.", "Well, a blinking red box telling me about a membership for....." , and "I see some buttons that say games, TV, shopping....". So many distractions!!
It was quite awhile before I got her to ignore each of the pop-ups, flashing ads, etc., and to find the two little boxes that said "user name and password" next to them. :) By the time I verbally helped her to carefully type her email address and password clicked "log in", 45 minutes had passed. After it was over, she was worn out, I was happily relieved, and it caused me to reflect on the irony of it.
For someone like myself with a brain injury, distractions are constant. I used to be a very focused and attentive person, but now I am easily sidetracked. I am learning over the years tricks to help with this, but am quickly realizing that it's a constant battle. I am concluding that it will always be a struggle and to try to make the best of it. Something or some task that I used to easily complete now is much more challenging.
Yet really, we all have some "distractions" in life though. What are your distractions? I define a distraction as anything that gets our focus off of our goals in life. For me, I have many things that get my ultimate focus off of God. Brain injury or not, whatever distracts us from fulfilling God's purpose in each of our lives is truly a distraction. One that I will always fight against.
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