I came to a new awareness recently while having dinner with some friends from college. Why I never realized this before is surprising. My memory problems have a bigger impact on my friends, family, and acquaintances than on me.
That night at dinner with my college roommates, I saw how still amazed people are when I struggle to remember simple things. I usually am very lighthearted when it comes to my memory. I think over the years I've realized that I need to laugh about it, otherwise I would have screamed with frustration all the time.
I have gone my whole life with my memory getting gradually worse. This was to my advantage because the other side was naturally learning to take over. This was good since by the time of the surgery, my hippocampus was shriveled up like a prune. It wasn't doing me much good so removing it wasn't much of a loss. I think I am so used to the deficits that coping and making adjustments is a natural part of functioning for me.
As we laughed because I realized they had told me the same story on several occasions, I thought how everything is either new or vaguely familiar to me. My friends and family are so patient with telling me things multiple times. I wondered that night how much more they adapt for me in this area than what I realized. It made me pause and realize that my memory deficits impact them way more than me. I'm so used to it, but they are still caught off guard by it on occasion. It makes me even more grateful and appreciative for my family, friends, and colleagues. I came to a new awareness that night of the many "silent" sacrifices that they have given to me and continue to do so.
